It is imperative that you minimize the mental and physical harm to yourself and move on with your
life if it appears that it is no longer worthwhile to attempt to salvage your marriage and that a divorce is
likely to occur in the near future. Approaches to successfully completing this mission exist, no matter
you want to divorce in Duval county or in New York City. Let's figure things out straight now.
Due to the unstable nature of the times in which we live and the requirement that partners spend a significant amount of time together, divorce is currently an alternative for some married couples. In light of these circumstances, we design a strategy to assist ourselves.
Whether one spouse initiated the breakup or the other will be compelled to go through with it, both parties will experience a range of challenging feelings during the duration of the divorce process. These feelings include regret, despair, hopelessness, and a loss of stability and security. You will never be able to avoid being affected to some degree by powerful emotions. At some point in the future, everyone will have had sufficient time to get past their disagreements.
FIRST THINGS FIRST
A year, five, ten, twenty years—husband and wife have been married. Each put power, riches, and time in marriage. Husband and wife create their own customs and habits: having breakfast together, going to the dacha on weekends in summer or on holiday to the sea, celebrating the New Year with their parents, seeing mutual acquaintances, etc.
Habits provide stability, predictability, support, and trust in the future. Habits allow us to design our futures. On the brink of life, individuals promised to be together in joy and sorrow until death. It seemed like forever. They never imagined that marriage would end and their aspirations, expectations, and life plans would crumble.
When your husband leaves you — it usually causes emotional turbulence. Even if the couples' relationship is now "once upon a time there were two neighbors" and one knew about the other's betrayals but kept quiet in hopes that things would work out. Even though the spouses shouted, banged doors, and threatened divorce, they reconciled or pretended nothing occurred after a few days.
DIVORCE FROM PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE
There is trauma with divorce. Since their faith in marriage has been shaken, some people find themselves unable to date again. Both the individual who initiates the divorce and the one on the receiving end go through the same normal phases of grief that anybody would go through after losing a loved one: sorrow, denial, anger, bargaining or negotiations, sadness, divorce forums, acceptance, and adaption.
In most cases, the person who decides that it is time to let go is already experiencing the first step of the process before they ever bring it up. The first step begins for his partner when the divorce decision is made public. Divorce is a stressful time for everyone involved, but it may be especially challenging for couples since they are typically at various stages of coping with loss. This needs to be grasped and taken seriously.
Neither men nor women grieve in any distinctively feminine or masculine way. Many males are more emotional than women, whereas many women are more reserved. Those around them, too, may try to numb their sorrow with drugs, excessive sexual activity, or by acting aggressively or inadequately.
HOW TO SURVIVE DIVORCE
Overcoming trauma of divorce is not a simple task. When an arranged marriage is dissolved, both parties are required to cross a perilous, burning bridge of considerable length. Running is dangerous, and losing your fury is never an acceptable response to a situation.
There are some things that will remain the same regardless of how effectively you perform your duties. The following are the primary factors to take into account that, in my experience, will raise the likelihood that everyone involved will survive this crisis with minimum injury.
Do not be greedy, but do not adjust
Do not allow resentment or a desire for revenge to color how you protect your rights and interests. Remember that there is a long journey ahead of you. So this is the one you decided to go with and immediately fell in love with. While you were marrying this "crazy," "monster," or anyone else you refer to him as when you are speaking to people from the outside of your circle, you threw a bouquet and sliced a white cake with one knife.
2. Do not discuss divorce with everyone
There are going to be people who are persistently interested in beginning a conversation with you about what is going on, about your partner, or about other divorced couples. Someone will do it because they sincerely believe you require an outlet for the feelings you are experiencing by engaging in such behavior. But trust me, you don’t want to repeat the phrase «my husband left me» over and over again— this will be no good for you.
On the other hand, there is no requirement for it. You definitely don't want to spend the entire day simmering in this soup. The more you think about something, the more it will eat away at you and make you weaker. Don't worry about the future; focus on having fun right now. Put some extra pressure on the door, and don't come in here anymore. I repeat, do not come in.
3. Keep your dignity
Do not jump to the conclusion that you have nothing to lose by further humiliating yourself or swearing after a confrontation, a brawl, or a scandal. You have a lot to lose so continue trying to be the best version of yourself. There is always the possibility of bringing dishonor upon oneself, particularly when it comes to matters pertaining to one's honor. Do not make the mistake of attempting to dig the soil and eat the worms; rather, hasten your escape as swiftly as possible above, away from the unpleasant wetness of this terrible pit, the pungent odor of the cemetery, and the loathsome notions of continuing to live.
4. Do not indulge in a binge, a spree or a overeating
If you want to avoid ending up emotionally and physically devastated, don't start smoking, don't start drinking, and don't start spending money recklessly. Imagine that you have successfully finished all of these processes and that you are now able to continue enjoying your life. In point of fact, happiness and pleasure are the most important things! You have spared yourself the possibility of humiliation, an increase in weight, and headaches.
5. If it's really bad, go to a good psychotherapist
If you think that life after divorce forum will be enough, you are wrong. Never to anybody other than a qualified medical professional who aims to and is capable of curing you of your illness. It is a terrible situation to find oneself in therapy at a weak point in one's life with a therapist who wants to investigate one's history, beginning with their childhood. You waste time and money being mired in a sticky position, which prevents you from getting a fresh start elsewhere.
This period of time has only lately come to an end. This is the beginning of the next. You just cannot afford to engage in pointless reminiscence at this point in time.
6. Forget the word "analysis" and get down to action
Your position will be stronger and your state will be happier according to the number of inventive acts that you undertake. The activity should be diversified; we are not searching for sublimation in the form of zealous immersion in any one ocean. Rather, we want activities that keep things interesting.
Work, study, bike, play sports, communicate, read, observe, and take in the energizing effects of gaining new expertise and information.
7. Don't sleep with your ex
This is mistake.
8. Try to avoid fighting with other members of your family.
When it's convenient for us, we declare that life is short (usually when we are seeking for a reason to enable ourselves to be cruel). However, you shouldn't let it fool you; life is really lengthy, husband leaving doesn’t end it. Repeat that to yourself as often as you can. It's never a smart idea to break apart families, and it's more unwise when those families share grandkids.
9. Communicate with the opposite sex, but do not rush into a new relationship
In order to be prepared for a new chapter, you must first develop into the kind of person who you would feel comfortable spending the rest of your life with. It shouldn't make a difference whether you're single or attached to how you feel about yourself as a person. From the perspective of your experience, divorce can be a superpower for you. This is a very important point to keep in mind.
10. If possible, travel
The restorative benefits of going on holiday are frequently disregarded. That which is greatest or most excellent. You won't be prevented from enjoying new cultures, tastes, or views even if you have tears in your baggage. Since you are a novelist who is in the process of constructing a whole new chronology, it is reasonable to presume that no one here recognizes you. Take yourself by the collar and pull yourself out of the muck of sentimentality for the moments you and your travel companions spent together on previous trips.